Employee : Sir, you called me?
Boss : Yeah,go to the rest room and masturbate.
Employee : (After few mins) ,done sir
Boss : Do it again.
Employee : Done again, sir.

Boss : Do it once more
Employee : Now I don't have
stamina for it, sir.
Boss : Very good,here are my car
keys, drop my daughter at home.

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other..!!

Pathan:
Namastay Jee!

Yeh Bijli Kab Aaye Gi?

KESC Wala:
Yeh Namastay Q Bola?
Pathan:
Q K Tum Logo Par Salaamti Bhejna
Pooray Mulk K Sath
Ghaddari
Hogi;) ...

Super pogo joke

Girl: Janu Ye Toh Bahot Bada Hai
.
Boy: Koshish To Karo.
.
Girl: Janu Bahot Mota Hai
.
Boy: Dubara Try Karo.
.
Girl: Poora Nahi Jayega.
.
Boy: Jaan Tumhe Meri Kasam.
.
Girl: Andar Se Paani Nikal Raha Hai.
.
.
Boy: Achchha Aakhri Baar Try Karo
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Girl: Uff Mere Kapde Kharab Ho Gaye,
Ab Tum Hi Saare
GOL GAPPE Khao Mujhe NahiKhane.

New way to avoid pregnancy :

Wear double condom with chilli powder in between. If outer breaks she will know,If inner breaks he will know.! :P

An 8-year-old girl went to her grandfather, who was working in the yard and asked him, "Grampa, what is couple sex?"

The grandfather was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decided that if she's old enough to ask the question, then she's old enough to get a straight answer. Steeling himself to leave nothing out, he proceeded to tell her all about human reproduction and the joys and responsibilitie­s of intercourse.

When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide in amazement.

Seeing the look on her face, the grandfather asked her, "Why did you ask this question, honey?"

The little girl replied, "Grandma says that dinner will be ready in just a couple secs."
:p:D))

After screwing up in exams
>Reaches home.
>Searches 'sad songs' on youtube.
>This site is blocked.
>Opens proxy.
>Virus infects.
>Crawls in a corner.
>Tries hard not to cry.
>Cries.

Solid Joke

"Pappu ka Promotion Inspector se DSP hogya,

Ghar aa kar Wife ko aise andaz se btaya,
Ke uski Wife Behosh Hogae.... ???
.
.
.
.
.
..

..
.
.
Pappu Bola :-Aaj se Tu DSP k sath Soyegi…!!! :o :p :D

1st year students of M.B.B.S were attending their 1st practical class.

They all gathered around the surgery table with a real dead dog.
The Professor put his finger in dog's ass & tasted it in his own mouth.
Then he told them to do the same...
The students hesitated for several Minutes,
but eventually everyone inserted their finger
in the dog's ass & tasted it.

When everyone finished, the professor looked at them & said :
" The most important thing is " OBSERVATION "
I inserted my middle finger
but tasted the index finger !

Now learn to " PAY ATTENTION " :)

A one line advertisement by a Married Man on OLX : 

For Sale Wedding suit, used only once by mistake :P

Husband:jb hamari larayi hoti ha,,,,tou tum apna gusa kes pay nikalti ho?
.
.
Wife:Toilet pay
.
.
Husband:woh kesay?
.
.
Wife:kyun k mn toilet ap k Tooth brush say he saf karti hon

wife Rock Husband shock

Dedicated To All Girls With High
Attitude
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
.
Sweety ! Don't Be Proud If Every Boy Wants You..!
Always Remember,
Cheap Items Have Too Many Buyers

a towel can make ur career - Ranbeer kapoor

a towel can destroy you career - shreeshant

u can make career without a towel - sunny leone

Kaminey friends

4 boys on bike...
Police : Triple riding is banned aur tum 4 baithe Ho?

Boys shocked
.
.
.
.
.
.
Looks behind..
.
.
.
.
And says : saalo kamino 5wa kaha gir gya?? ;D

Teacher :"Water ka Molecular formula batao ???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Student :"H2O + Mgcl2 + Caso4 + Alcl3 + NaoH
+KOH + HNO3 + HCL + CO2
.
.
.
Teacher :"Ye answer galat hai
.
.
.
.
Student :"Maam ye Naale ka pani hai.. :P :D

Husband & Wife dono market gaye to Ek Larki ne
HELLO kiya...
.
.
.
Wife:" kaun thi wo ?? 
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Husband:" Tum plz dimag kharab
mat karo,
.
.
.
abhi usko bhi batana hai ki tum kaun ho ?? :O :P

Height of Irritating Some one 

Larka :
Pen hai?

Larki :
Nhe

LarkA :
Oye pen hai?

Larki :
Nhe 

Larka :
Btao na pen hai?

Larki :
bola na nhe hai...

Larka :
Yar btao na plz pen hai ? 

Larki :
(gusy se)
ek baar kha na..nhe hai..ab pucha to hathoRay se Sr Phoor dugi tmara :@ 
.
.
Thori daer bad larka :
Suno Hathora hai?

Larki :
Nhe 

Larka :
Acha ...wowwww...
To phr ''Pen'' hai ''Pen''

Shadi k bad Bv kesy bdlti hy
:
1st year: 
Meny kaha g, khana kha lijie, apny kafi der sy kuch khaya ni
.
2nd year:
G khana lga du
?
3rd year:
Khana bn chuka hy, jb khana ho to bta dena
.
4th year:
Khana bnakr rkh dia hy, me market ja rhi hu, khud hi lekr kha lena
.
5th year:
Me kehti hu, mjsy aj khana ni bnega, hotel sy leao
.
6th year:
Jb dekho khana khana hy, abi suba to khaya tha
.
After 7th year:
Kitni der sy poch rhi hu, khana tayar huwa k nhi.

Ek ladka apni pados ki Aunty ko
ghar chorne gaya..
.
.
Aunty ne bola:" Beta raat bahot ho gai hai, tum yahi
BITTU ke kamre me so jao..
.
.
Ladka bola:" nahi Aunty meyahin
SOFA par so jaunga
.
.
Agle din Subah ek Bohot hi Sundar
ladki CHAI le kar aai..
.
.
Ladka:" Aap kaun ho.. ??
.
.
Ladki:" Me BITTU.. Aap kaun...??
.
.
Ladka:" Mai saala ullu ka pattha.

Wife was setting her FB pasword
.
&
.
Husband was sitting beside her
.
Sudden his Husband felldown from chair n started rolling on floor with laughing badlY
.
Because
.
wife set the word
.
'' B R A I N ''
.
as her FB pasword
.
&
.
Computer replied
.
''TOO SHORT''