Wednesday 30 October 2013

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
A prostitute's favorite line. ;;)

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'push karo khush raho'.=))

Tuesday 29 October 2013

pogo

A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves...

"Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?"

She said, "No?"

"Well," he spoofed, "down in Mexico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the workers are all picked according to hand size. Each individual walks up to the tank, dips their hands in, and then walk around for a bit while the latex sets up and dries right onto their hands! Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big 'Finished Goods Crate' and start the process all over again."

And she didn't laugh a bit!!! Five minutes later, during the procedure, he had to stop cleaning her teeth because she burst out laughing.

The old woman blushed and exclaimed, "I just suddenly thought about how they must make condoms!"
super pogo joke

There are a little boy and a little girl in the woods. The little girl asks the boy, "What is a penis?" The boy replies, "I don't know." At that time he hears his mum calling him for lunch. He goes home and eats his lunch. Then he sees his dad on the couch. He goes up to his dad and ask him, "What is a penis?" The dad whips his out and says to the boy, "This is a penis, as a matter of fact this is the perfect penis." The boy leaves to go find his friend and brings her to the woods. The girl again asks him what a penis is. He whips out his penis and says to her, "This is a penis, and if it was two inches smaller it would be the perfect penis!"
super pogo joke

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"

The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."

The doctor replied, "My point exactly."
pogo joke

An older Jewish man married a younger woman. After several months, the young woman complained that she had never climaxed during sex and by birthright, all Jewish women are entitled to at least one climax during sex.

So they went to see the rabbi. The rabbi tells them to get a strong, virile young man to wave a towel over them while they are having sex. This, the rabbi says, will cause the woman to climax, so the couple tries it. After several attempts, still no climax.

They go back to the rabbi. The rabbi says for the bride to change partners and have the virile young man have sex with her and have the husband wave the towel. They try it that night and the young woman goes into wild, screaming earsplitting climaxes, one after the other.

When it is over, the husband smugly looks down at the young man and says, "You see, schmuck, THAT's how you wave a towel!"

Friday 25 October 2013

BRA and BAR :
Both have same alphabets.
Both are drinking zones.
Both have restricted time of opening and closing.
But when opened, both make men crazy.
CHEERS

Thursday 24 October 2013

LADKIYA 2 Type Ki Hoti Hai,

1st : BORING

2nd : INTERSTING
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BORING : jo DHOOP mein bhi UMBRELLA le kar ghumti hain.
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INTERESTING : Jo baarish mein bhi Jaan-bujh kar
UMBRELLA ghar bhool jati hain..!

Mujhe dono pasand hai
Before Exam Boy To His Girl-Friend

Boy: “Hey, All The Best”

Girl-Friend: “All The Best To You Too”

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But Girl Scored 80 Marks And Boy Failed.

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Moral: Only Boys Wish With True Heart.
PURE Vegetarian JOKE..
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HUSBAND: "DEKHO MAIN TUMHARE
LIYE MULLI, GAJAR, KAKDI, KARELA
AUR KELE LAYA HU"
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BIWI: APP KAHIN LAMBE TOUR PE JAA
RAHE H KYA...?  
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Jo smjh gaya thoko like or Jo nhi wo
pogo dekho
I want to be the reason why you fall asleep with your phone in your hand.
Bhagwan ji agar sun rahe ho toh
ek question poochna tha
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. Mere leye bhi koi 'Awwwww' karne wali
banayi hai ya bhool gaye?

Hum Ko Maloom Nahin Chaahat Key Taqaazey Lekin,

Humne Teri Baaton K Siwa Har Baat Bhula Rakhi Hai
I care for you in my own ways.
Maybe you'll never know,
maybe I'll never show.
Sometimes in life we feel so............blue,
But someone, somewhere is not as happy as you…!
Somewhere far at the border when a soldier sleeps,
Missing his loved ones, he silently weeps,

Somewhere a mother painfully sights, Bcoz her new born baby didn’t open her eyes,

Somewhere a poor dad silently cries, When he sees his son begging for a bowl of rice,

Somewhere in an orphanage, a little girl is sad, When she misses her mom & dad,

So at times when you may not have any reason to smile, Say to yourself that you are happier than many, Bcoz life is beautiful and its not always blue, And someone, somewhere is not as happy as you, not as lucky as you…

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.

The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."

The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.

The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.

The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."
1 admi ke 6 ungliyan thi,
sab log usay Awara kehte the,
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batao kyo?
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Socho
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Qki Awara hi uska naam tha,
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faltu dimag mat chalaya karo b
Need Female Admins..

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Forr Myy Heartt xD
You are born original , Don't die as a copy.
Don’t care if someone doesn't like you.
You were not put on earth to please anyone.
Life is to express yourself not to impress anyone....
Ek larka aur larki hotel me gaye:
waiter:
kia loge?
Larki:
sabzyon wali roti.
Waiter: 
kia?
Larka:
Abey Lalokhet ki hai, Pizza bol rahi hai yr.....
Girl:"Bhaiya samose acche nahi bane aaj"Kal wale acche the"
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Santa (samose wala):"
"Kya bath kar rahe ho madam ?
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Ye kal wale hi to hai  
If your phone number ends with

0- u are a trouble maker
1- u are very kind
2- u are very funny
3- u are intelligent
4- u are sincere
5- u are careless
6- u are neat
7- u are handsome/ beautiful
8- u are straight forward 
9- u are shy.

wel i am a "trouble maker" 
Vry Emotional Must read it :
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Ghar ki bani desi ghee ki
mithai or
parathe lekar
Ma-Baap college me padh rahe
bete se milne gaye..

Unhe saade kapdo me dekh k 1
ladki ne pucha
"who r they.?"

Ladke ne kaha
"They r d servants from my
village"
Ma-Baap ki aankho me khushi k
aansu aa gaye..

Humara beta aab angreji bolne
laga he . :-|
A Man goes to
Five Star Hotel....

Man : One Vodka Price

Waiter : Rs. 5/- Sir.

Man : What Only Rs. 5 ??

Can I Also Have
One Pizza Please..??

Waiter : Rs. 7/- Sir

Man : Wow That’s Really Cheap,
Can I Meet The Owner of this Hotel ??

Waiter :
No Sir, He’s Busy With My Girlfriend !!!!

Man : What’s He Doing With Your Girlfriend ????

Waiter : The Same Thing That I’m Doing To His Business Here !!!!
3rd class ka baccha apni
Miss se kehta hai
Mai
apko kesa lagta hun... ??
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Miss:"so sweet..
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Baccha:"To phir mai
apne ammi
abbu ko aap ke
ghar kab bheju.. ?? 
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Miss:"wo q.. ??
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Bacha:"q ki wo hamari
baat aage
chalaye.. ;))
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Miss:"ye kya bakwas
hai.. :O:/
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Baccha:
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Tution padhane ke
liye ..!!
miss aap bhi na kasam
se TV dekh dekh ke
kharab ho gayi hain...
Batamizi is 
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Kuch nahi bas yunhi
A little boy was attending his first
wedding. After the service, his cousin
asked him, "How many women can a
man
marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an
answer
so quickly. "How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have
to
do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"