A married man goes to confessional and tells the priest, ‘I almost
had an affair with a woman.’
The priest asks, ‘What do you mean, almost?’
‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’
The priest replies, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in.
You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and
put $50 in the poor box.’
The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, and then walks over to
the poor box.
He pauses for a moment and then starts to leave.
The priest quickly runs over to him and says, ‘I saw that. You didn't
put any money in the poor box!’
‘Well, Father, I rubbed up against it and you said it was the same as
putting it in.’