One day Pinocchio came to Gepetto with a problem.
‘Every time I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters. What
can I do about this?’
‘Have you tried sandpaper?’ Pinocchio hadn't, so he went to try it.
‘Pinocchio,’ said Gepetto a few weeks later, ‘How is the problem
work out with your ‘Girlfriend?’
Said Pinocchio, ‘Who needs a girlfriend when you have sandpaper?’